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"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement. "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve. "But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and...

Version 1.4.3.518 released 1. Added Advanced Sector Scanner (A.S.S.) function. 2. Added online check and download latest update function. 3. Added two new profiles in data type options. 4. Updated the language files. 5. Updated graphics in software. 6. Support for unusual formatted DVD+RW...

http://www.jhewlett.freeserve.co.uk/click.htm

A guy has three girlfriends, and doesn't know which one to marry. He decides to give each one five thousand dollars and see how each of them spends it. The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, a manicure, a pedicure, the works, and...

The director of the CIA has to test three new agents, a 25-year-old, a 35-year-old, and a 45-year-old. He puts each of their wives in a different room. He hands the 25-year-old a gun and says, "Go into the room and kill your wife." The 25-year-old says, "I can't do it. I love her too much." The...

A couple's in a car accident, and the wife gets hurt really bad. For ten years she's in a coma, never speaks or moves. Then one day a nurse is giving her a sponge bath, and as the sponge rubs across the wife's twat, she moans. The nurse gets the doctor, the doctor tries it, and she moans again...

A guy and a girl meet in a bar and go home to her place. After a few hours of drunken sex, he gets out a cigarette, but can't find his lighter. She says, "There might be some matches in the top drawer." He opens the drawer of the bedside table and finds some matches on top of a framed picture of...

please, be sure the drink responsibly this year at your annual halloween party. if not this could be you.

Nick The Dragon Slayer Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death. One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the...

i woke early one morning the earth lay cool and still when suddenly a tiny bird perched on my window sill he sang a song so lovely so carefree and so gay that slowly all my troubles began to slip away he sang of far off places of laughter and of fun it seemed his very trilling brought up the...

have you guys seen this old one from joe cartoon?

a guy was talking with his friend and he says, "jeez, i was talking to my wife's doctor last night and i don't remember if he said she had aids or if she had alzheimers!" his friend says, "that's easy. put her in the car and take her across town and drop her off. if she finds her way home then...

hi nb! just checkin' in to your new forum. looks great. i'll have to be stopping in on a regular basis to make sure you and woody have everything under control. you know how he is. :D btw, i saw this board for deutch, or something like that. i don't have this software and can't even find it on...