What it means to be a man...

[psx_paul]

1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it
effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's
work.

2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes
you the man

3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle
is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the
man. Magic.

4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love.
No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle?

5, GOING TO THE DUMP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you
thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy
destruction.

6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and
downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the
door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch
up with you. God, you're hard.

7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn
on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

 

[VIPER_1069]

lol this list is expandable


9. TAKING a newspaper / sports paper/magazine infact any kind of literature that could be classed as reading material to the TOILET and sitting there and reading the whole thing for as long as it takes..... and leaving a smell only a skunk could withstand and carefully closing the door and forgetting to open the window deliberately just before the spose/partner etc need to use it then walking off with a smug grin on your face.