Back in the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who
wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world.
He practised every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he
wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing
wrong.
Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognised an elderly man
seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in
the West in his day. The young cowboy took the seat next to the old
timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great
ambition.
"Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.
The old man looked him up and down and said,
"Well, for one thing you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster
a little lower down on your leg."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"Sure will," said the old timer. The young man did as he was told,
stood up, whipped out his ..44 and shot the bow tie off the piano
player.
"That's terrific!" said the cowboy, "Got any more tips for me?"
"Yep," said the old man, "Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
"You bet it will," said the old timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his
gun in a blur, and shot a cufflink off the piano player.
"Wow!" said the cowboy, "I'm learnin' somethin' here--got any more
tips?"
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. ? "See
that axle grease there? Coat your gun with it."
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on
the barrel of his gun.
"No," said the old timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle
and all."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"No," said the old timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playin' the
piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as
much."
wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world.
He practised every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he
wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing
wrong.
Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognised an elderly man
seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in
the West in his day. The young cowboy took the seat next to the old
timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great
ambition.
"Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.
The old man looked him up and down and said,
"Well, for one thing you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster
a little lower down on your leg."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"Sure will," said the old timer. The young man did as he was told,
stood up, whipped out his ..44 and shot the bow tie off the piano
player.
"That's terrific!" said the cowboy, "Got any more tips for me?"
"Yep," said the old man, "Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
"You bet it will," said the old timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his
gun in a blur, and shot a cufflink off the piano player.
"Wow!" said the cowboy, "I'm learnin' somethin' here--got any more
tips?"
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. ? "See
that axle grease there? Coat your gun with it."
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on
the barrel of his gun.
"No," said the old timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle
and all."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"No," said the old timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playin' the
piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as
much."
