some jokes

serjer

serjer

1
my share of jokes :D

An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
> > " you name pls. "
> > " abdul aziz "
> > " sex? "
> > " six times a week!! "
> > " no, no, i mean male or female! "
> > " doesn't matters, sometimes even camel "
> >
> > **********
> >
> > Twins were born to a sardarji,. he could not sleep for the whole night.
> > why????
> > he kept wondering who is the father of the second child
> >
> > **********
> >
> > teacher : what do you want to become?
> > lil johny : doctor !!
> > teacher : why?
> > lil j : coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
> >
> > **********
> >
> > Woman complaining to dentist: it's so painful, i'd rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.
> > dentist : make up your mind soon, i'll adjust the chair accordingly.
> >
> > **********
> >
> > 75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl. on their first night both were crying.
> > why???
> > coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything
> >
> > **********
> >
> > old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read:
> > BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
> > the engraver shortened it to " RETURNED UNOPENED "
> >
> > **********
> >
> > a kid asked the priest " father, what is your pastime? "
> > the priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied " Nun, my child, nun "
 
janiedriver

janiedriver

1
Couple more sex jokes:
A researcher is doing a study on the sexual habits of trailer
park denizens in Alabama. He finds one family with 12 kids,
and decides to ask the mother some questions.

"Ma'am," he asks, "Don't take this the wrong way, but do you
know anything about contraceptives?"

"What the hell're yu a talkin' bout?" is her dumbfounded reply.

"Okay, well, for instance... what do you and your husband use
when you're having sex? Do you use condoms? A diaphragm? IUD?"

"Nah," she replies. "We get along fine just a usin' my ol'man's
Richard!"


**********************************************


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was
not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to
look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with
a hot cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip
of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the
room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember 20
years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks
solemnly.

"Yes I do," she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you
remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my
car making love?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife.

The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the
shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter,
or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'"

"I remember that, too," she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have
gotten out today."


"Always get married in the morning, that way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day."
 
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