>"Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a
>
>jar of jalapenos
>--you never know what's going to burn your ass."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I can only please one person per day.
>Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good
>either.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing
>sound they make as they go flying by.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get
>along without it.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Accept that some days you are the pigeon and most days
>the statue.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he
>isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be
>needing him again.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I don't have an attitude problem, you have a
>perception problem.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the
>sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the
>ceiling?
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>My reality check bounced.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the
>escape key.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding
>through peanut butter.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Everyone is someone else's weirdo.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their
>level then beat you with experience.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a
>kick in the butt.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you
>won't be promoted.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>After any salary raise, you will have less money at
>the end of the month than you did before.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>The more Crap you put up with, the more Crap you are
>going to get.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and
>carry a clipboard.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it
>yourself!
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they
>shall never cease to be amused.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a
>speed bump.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>What should you give a man who has everything? A
>woman to show him how to work it!
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>How can you tell which bottle contains the PMS
>medicine? It's the one with bite marks on the cap.
>
>
>
>
>
