Doctor's visit

An elderly gentleman went to his doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor
gave him a jar, sent him home and told him to bring back a semen sample
tomorrow. The next day, the man returned to the doctor's office and gave
him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's
like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my
left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She even tried with her
mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We
even called the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands,
then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but
still nothing."

The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what all three of us tried, with
our arthritis, we still couldn't get the jar open."
 
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