RASTABT
1
What A Man Really Means
>"I'M GOING FISHING"
>Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
>stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in
>my hand, while the fish swim by in
>complete safety."
>
>IT'S A GUY THING"
>Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
>connected with it, and you have no chance
>at all of making it logical".
>
>"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
>Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
>
>
>"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU.
>IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
>Means: "I was wondering if that redhead
>over there is wearing a bra."
>
>"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
>Means: "I can't hear the game over
>the vacuum cleaner."
>
>"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
>Means: "Are you still talking?"
>
>
>"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
>Means: "And I sure hope I think of some
>pretty darn soon."
>"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
>Means: Absolutely nothing.
>It's a conditioned response.
>
>"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
>Means: "I have no idea how it works."
>
>"I CAN'T FIND IT."
>Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
>so I'm completely clueless."
>
>"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
>Means: "What did you catch me at?"
>
>"I HEARD YOU."
>Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
>just said, and am hoping desperately that I
>can fake it well enough so that you don't
>spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
>
>"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
>Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
>and realize it could be worse."
>
>"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
>Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit,
>I'm starving already."
>
>"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
>Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
>
>"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
>Means: "I make the mess, she cleans it up."
>
>"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
>Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',
>the address of the first girl I ever kissed,
>and the vehicle identification numbers
>of every car I've ever owned,
>but I forgot your birthday."
>
>"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU,
>AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
>Means: "The girl selling them on the corner
>was a real babe."
>
>"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF,
>IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
>Means: "I have actually severed a limb,
>it will bleed to death before
>I admit that I'm hurt."
>"I'M GOING FISHING"
>Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
>stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in
>my hand, while the fish swim by in
>complete safety."
>
>IT'S A GUY THING"
>Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
>connected with it, and you have no chance
>at all of making it logical".
>
>"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
>Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
>
>
>"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU.
>IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
>Means: "I was wondering if that redhead
>over there is wearing a bra."
>
>"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
>Means: "I can't hear the game over
>the vacuum cleaner."
>
>"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
>Means: "Are you still talking?"
>
>
>"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
>Means: "And I sure hope I think of some
>pretty darn soon."
>"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
>Means: Absolutely nothing.
>It's a conditioned response.
>
>"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
>Means: "I have no idea how it works."
>
>"I CAN'T FIND IT."
>Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
>so I'm completely clueless."
>
>"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
>Means: "What did you catch me at?"
>
>"I HEARD YOU."
>Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
>just said, and am hoping desperately that I
>can fake it well enough so that you don't
>spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
>
>"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
>Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
>and realize it could be worse."
>
>"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
>Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit,
>I'm starving already."
>
>"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
>Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
>
>"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
>Means: "I make the mess, she cleans it up."
>
>"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
>Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',
>the address of the first girl I ever kissed,
>and the vehicle identification numbers
>of every car I've ever owned,
>but I forgot your birthday."
>
>"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU,
>AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
>Means: "The girl selling them on the corner
>was a real babe."
>
>"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF,
>IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
>Means: "I have actually severed a limb,
>it will bleed to death before
>I admit that I'm hurt."