colza888
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LITTLE JOHNNY ON...PHILOSOPHY:
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"?
She calls on little Johnny.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot."
The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are
three women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice
cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The
third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well, I suppose the
one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one
with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
LITTLE JOHNNY ON...MATH:
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3' I said "6" replies Johnny.
"But that's right!"
"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE JOHNNY ON...ENGLISH:
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example
of a multi-syllable word?"
Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful."
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE JOHNNY ON...GRAMMAR:
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he
needed to go to the bathroom.
He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to
use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow
you to go."
Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but
if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!!!"
LITTLE JOHNNY ON...GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the
dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he
said, Beautiful,... just fucking beautiful!'"
A vacuum cleaner salesman rings the doorbell of a home and Little
Johnny answers the door in his underwear holding a beer and puffing on a
big ass cigar. "Is your mommy or daddy home?", the man asks. Little
Johnny taps an ash on the floor and says "What the fuck do you think?"
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"?
She calls on little Johnny.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot."
The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are
three women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice
cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The
third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well, I suppose the
one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one
with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
LITTLE JOHNNY ON...MATH:
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3' I said "6" replies Johnny.
"But that's right!"
"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE JOHNNY ON...ENGLISH:
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example
of a multi-syllable word?"
Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful."
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE JOHNNY ON...GRAMMAR:
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he
needed to go to the bathroom.
He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to
use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow
you to go."
Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but
if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!!!"
LITTLE JOHNNY ON...GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the
dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he
said, Beautiful,... just fucking beautiful!'"
A vacuum cleaner salesman rings the doorbell of a home and Little
Johnny answers the door in his underwear holding a beer and puffing on a
big ass cigar. "Is your mommy or daddy home?", the man asks. Little
Johnny taps an ash on the floor and says "What the fuck do you think?"