The World's Best Headlines

(With commentary)


Crack Found on Governor's Daughter[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [not if I'm careful!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over[ what a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death [good-for-nothin' lazy nogoods)

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [ya think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [who would have thought!]

London Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [they may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft¦[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Tastes like chicken!]

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Need [That was really giving of himself!]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctor [Boy, they are really tall!]

And the winner is. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead! (Storm of the century)

 
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