1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2) In a hostage situation you are most likely to be released first.
3) No one expects you to run into a burning building (or to run anywhere for that matter).
4) People call at 9 p.m. and ask "Did I wake you?"
5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6) There is nothing left for you to learn the hard way.
7) Things you buy now won't wear out.
8) You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.
9) You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10) You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11) You get into heated arguements about pension plans.
12) You have a party and the neighbours don't even notice.
13) You no longer think of the speed limit as a personal challenge.
14) You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15) You sing along with elevator music.
16) Your eyes won't get much worse.
17) Your investment in health care is finally beginning to pay off.
18) Your joints are more accurate meteorologist than the national weather service.
19) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
20) Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable level.
21) You can't remember where you read this list.
2) In a hostage situation you are most likely to be released first.
3) No one expects you to run into a burning building (or to run anywhere for that matter).
4) People call at 9 p.m. and ask "Did I wake you?"
5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6) There is nothing left for you to learn the hard way.
7) Things you buy now won't wear out.
8) You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.
9) You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10) You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11) You get into heated arguements about pension plans.
12) You have a party and the neighbours don't even notice.
13) You no longer think of the speed limit as a personal challenge.
14) You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15) You sing along with elevator music.
16) Your eyes won't get much worse.
17) Your investment in health care is finally beginning to pay off.
18) Your joints are more accurate meteorologist than the national weather service.
19) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
20) Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable level.
21) You can't remember where you read this list.
