Speeding ticket

AndrejX

AndrejX

1
A police officer pulls a bloke over for speeding and has the following
exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended for speeding.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the
registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes mate. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman
who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.
Officer: There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?
Driver: Yes, mate.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his back up. The car was
quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to
handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. (It was valid).
Captain: Who 's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration papers.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun
in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's a
body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Boot is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told
him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box,
and that there was a dead body in the boot.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, as well.
 
NoSpam

NoSpam

1
biffy40 said:
Thanks...but what do they put on their feet in the winter?
Click to expand...
Galloshes. Don't ever go into a shoe store over there and ask for a pair of rubbers. :)

And don't go "gobble, gobble, gobble" on Thanksgiving.

I used to work for a Flight Lieutenant (exchange officer) many years ago, and he also got a kick out of what people would say over here. And if anyone in the office ever asked him for a ruler, he would just point to the picture of the Queen on the wall. If you were found going through his desk for anything, you were "going through the Queen's drawers". This guy would even bring down the Stars and Stripes in front of the Base Commander's quarters on the 4th of July, and run up the Union Jack. The SP's caught him one year. :)

NoSpam
 
R

RIDGEBACK

1
Its the Union Flag not the Union Jack, it only becomes the Jack when it has one of H.M's warships tied to it and then only in harbour or under full dress.

Any Brit who calls the flag, the Jack should be banished to Australia along with the rest of the riff-raff
 
P

parrotman

1
Any Brit who calls the flag, the Jack should be banished to Australia along with the rest of the riff-raff



they could send me there anyday.
i have relations over there that would not come back.like they say
theres nothing to come back here for.
the only reason they got there was because of there jobs,& not having a criminal record.
what is there here thats so good. the way things are going this country will have no english people left by the year 2020.
we pay stupid amounts of money to go abroad for our holidays,why .because its freezing most of the year here,& the sea is so relaxing.lol
but seriously i would live my days out there ,plenty of room with hot weather. & not over crowded.britain is just becoming a havern for refugees.for them to be able to claim unemployment while the taxpayers fork out the cost.
im just praying that britain wont join the euro.
how many of the countrys that have joined can say there better of. 1 & thats who runs the fines & says that you have to go by there rules.
parrot man
 
VIPER_1069

VIPER_1069

1
baks_79 said:
For gods sake you dont know what a boot is when referring to a car ??
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@ baks_79 ..... please take into account this is a MULTINATIONAL /MULTILINGUAL forum NOT everyone knows what things mean espesh when they are not from the U.K. we have far more words that describe the same things here.. that we OFTEN TAKE FOR GRANTED !!! ........ and most!, if not all other countrys have difficulty understanding us at the best of times :(
 
*ChRiS

*ChRiS

1
Yes Viper!

I never knew a trunk was also a boot til i was about 12, always thought it was one of those big boxes or a elephants thingy that hangs (No not that one the one at the front)
 
Midnightangel

Midnightangel

1
parrotman said:
Any Brit who calls the flag, the Jack should be banished to Australia along with the rest of the riff-raff

they could send me there anyday.
Click to expand...
lol, so looking at this logicaly parrotman, you are calling yourself riff-raff?.
and everyone in OZ is riff-raff? remind me to let kylie know next time shes over for a cup-o-char. ;).
just kidding parrotman i know your not riff-raff, but close you do live in derby :p.
lol
 
Roman Tribune

Roman Tribune

1
Originally posted by baks_79
For gods sake you dont know what a boot is when referring to a car ??

ROTFLMFAO!

In the states when you refer to a boot with a car, it usually means that the car has been given a boot, a big metal lock attached to the driver's side of the car's tire because some idiot forgot to pay their parking tickets. Or a boot means the car has been impounded!

:D :D :D :D
 
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