Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece
on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling
Evian backwards. NAIVE
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like
making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags"
and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs",
what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that
mean that one enjoys it?
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader
of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor
store or at Hooters.
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't
people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a
whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and
you put your two cents in... what happens to the other
penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a
broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they
just stale bread to begin with?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist
but a person who drives a race car not called a
racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the
English language. Could it be that "I do" is the
longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses
of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible
a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on
me . . . they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do
Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why
don't they just put their pictures on the postage
stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then
what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.
No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team
is winning.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it
didn't zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The
mime next door went
nuts.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G >>
on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling
Evian backwards. NAIVE
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like
making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags"
and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs",
what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that
mean that one enjoys it?
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader
of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor
store or at Hooters.
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't
people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a
whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and
you put your two cents in... what happens to the other
penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a
broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they
just stale bread to begin with?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist
but a person who drives a race car not called a
racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the
English language. Could it be that "I do" is the
longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses
of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible
a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on
me . . . they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do
Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why
don't they just put their pictures on the postage
stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then
what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.
No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team
is winning.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it
didn't zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The
mime next door went
nuts.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G >>