Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck
Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
___________________________________________________________________________
The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her
recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient.
First you boil the chicken in water. And then
you dump the stock.
___________________________________________________________________________
New Sex Study...
It has been determined that the most used sexual
position for married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.
___________________________________________________________________________
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
___________________________________________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered."What did he say," asked the nurse. "OOPS!"
___________________________________________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and
I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
___________________________________________________________________________
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say a bad word afterwards.
Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
___________________________________________________________________________
The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her
recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient.
First you boil the chicken in water. And then
you dump the stock.
___________________________________________________________________________
New Sex Study...
It has been determined that the most used sexual
position for married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.
___________________________________________________________________________
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
___________________________________________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered."What did he say," asked the nurse. "OOPS!"
___________________________________________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and
I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
___________________________________________________________________________
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say a bad word afterwards.
