Crash
1
> > > > > > > A radio station in the Australia recently ran a
>phone-in
> > >competition
> > > > > to
> > > > > > > find the most embarrassing moments in listeners
>lives. The
> > >following
> > > > > are
> > > > > > > the final four place getters:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > 4th place "While in line at the bank one
>afternoon, my toddler
> > > >decided
> > > > > > > to release some pent-up energy & started to run
>amuck. I was
> > >finally
> > > > > > > able to grab hold of her after receiving looks
>of disgust &
> > > >annoyance
> > > > > > > from other patrons. I told her that if she
>didn't start behaving
> > > > > herself
> > > > > > > right now, she would be punished. To my horror,
>she looked me in
> > >the
> > > > > eye
> > > > > > > & said in a voice just as threatening, "If you
>don't let me go
> > >right
> > > > > > > now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
>Daddy's pee-pee
> > >last
> > > > > > > night!".
> > > > > > > The silence was deafening, after this
>enlightening exchange.
>Even
> > > >the
> > > > > > > tellers topped what they were doing! I mustered
>the last of my
> > > >dignity
> > > > > &
> > > > > > > walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
>The last thing
> > >that
> > > >I
> > > > > > > heard as the door closed behind me were the
>screams of
>laughter."
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > 3rd place
> > > > > > > "It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was
>living at home,
>but
> > > >my
> > > > > > > parents had gone out for the evening, so I
>invited my girlfriend
> > > >over
> > > > > > > for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed
>after making love,
>we
> > > > > heard
> > > > > > > the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to
>my girlfriend
> > >that
> > > >I
> > > > > > > give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since
>we didn't want to
> > > >miss
> > > > > > > the call, we didn't have time to get dressed.
>When we got to the
> > > > > bottom
> > > > > > > of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a
>whole crowd of
> > > >people
> > > > > > > yelled "surprise".
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > My entire family, ... aunts, uncles,
>grandparents, cousins and
>all
> > > >of
> > > > > my
> > > > > > > friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I
>were frozen to
> > >the
> > > > > spot
> > > > > > > in a state of shock and embarrassment for what
>seemed like an
> > > > > eternity.
> > > > > > > Since then, no-one in my family has planned a
>surprise party
> > >again."
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > 2nd place
> > > > > > > "A lady picked up several items at a discount
>store. When she
> > > >finally
> > > > > > > got up to the checkout, she learned that one of
>the items had no
> > > >price
> > > > > > > tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker
>got on the
>public
> > > > > > > address system and boomed out for all the store
>to hear. "PRICE
> > > >CHECK
> > > > > ON
> > > > > > > LANE 13. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad
>enough, but somebody
>at
> > > >the
> > > > > > > rear of the store apparently misunderstood the
>word "Tampax" for
> > > > > > > "Thumbtacks". In a very business-like tone, a
>voice boomed back
> > >over
> > > > > the
> > > > > > > public address system: DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU
>PUSH IN WITH
>YOUR
> > > > > THUMB
> > > > > > > OR THE
> > > > > > > KIND YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?"
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > AND THE WINNER IS!
> > > > > > > This one happened at a major Australian
>University in October
>last
> > > > > > > year.In a biology lecture, a professor was
>discussing the high
> > > >glucose
> > > > > > > levels found in semen. A young female freshie,
>raised her hand
>and
> > > > > > > asked, "If I understand what you are saying,
>there is a lot of
> > > >glucose
> > > > > > > in male semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct."
>responded the
> > > > > professor,
> > > > > > > going on to add some statistical data. Raising
>her hand again,
>the
> > > > > girl
> > > > > > > asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After
>a stunned
>silence,
> > > >the
> > > > > > > whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl
>turned bright red
> > >and
> > > >as
> > > > > > > sherealised exactly what she had inadvertently
>said (or rather
> > > > > implied),
> > > > > > > she picked up her books, and without a word
>walked out of the
> > >class,
> > > > > and
> > > > > > > never returned. However, as she was going out of
>the door, the
> > > > > > > professor's reply was a classic. Totally
>straight-faced, he
> > >answered
> > > > > her
> > > > > > > question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the
>taste-buds for
> > > >sweetness
> > > > > > > are on the tip of your tongue and not in the
>back of your
>throat!"
Crash
>phone-in
> > >competition
> > > > > to
> > > > > > > find the most embarrassing moments in listeners
>lives. The
> > >following
> > > > > are
> > > > > > > the final four place getters:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > 4th place "While in line at the bank one
>afternoon, my toddler
> > > >decided
> > > > > > > to release some pent-up energy & started to run
>amuck. I was
> > >finally
> > > > > > > able to grab hold of her after receiving looks
>of disgust &
> > > >annoyance
> > > > > > > from other patrons. I told her that if she
>didn't start behaving
> > > > > herself
> > > > > > > right now, she would be punished. To my horror,
>she looked me in
> > >the
> > > > > eye
> > > > > > > & said in a voice just as threatening, "If you
>don't let me go
> > >right
> > > > > > > now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
>Daddy's pee-pee
> > >last
> > > > > > > night!".
> > > > > > > The silence was deafening, after this
>enlightening exchange.
>Even
> > > >the
> > > > > > > tellers topped what they were doing! I mustered
>the last of my
> > > >dignity
> > > > > &
> > > > > > > walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
>The last thing
> > >that
> > > >I
> > > > > > > heard as the door closed behind me were the
>screams of
>laughter."
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > 3rd place
> > > > > > > "It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was
>living at home,
>but
> > > >my
> > > > > > > parents had gone out for the evening, so I
>invited my girlfriend
> > > >over
> > > > > > > for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed
>after making love,
>we
> > > > > heard
> > > > > > > the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to
>my girlfriend
> > >that
> > > >I
> > > > > > > give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since
>we didn't want to
> > > >miss
> > > > > > > the call, we didn't have time to get dressed.
>When we got to the
> > > > > bottom
> > > > > > > of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a
>whole crowd of
> > > >people
> > > > > > > yelled "surprise".
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > My entire family, ... aunts, uncles,
>grandparents, cousins and
>all
> > > >of
> > > > > my
> > > > > > > friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I
>were frozen to
> > >the
> > > > > spot
> > > > > > > in a state of shock and embarrassment for what
>seemed like an
> > > > > eternity.
> > > > > > > Since then, no-one in my family has planned a
>surprise party
> > >again."
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > 2nd place
> > > > > > > "A lady picked up several items at a discount
>store. When she
> > > >finally
> > > > > > > got up to the checkout, she learned that one of
>the items had no
> > > >price
> > > > > > > tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker
>got on the
>public
> > > > > > > address system and boomed out for all the store
>to hear. "PRICE
> > > >CHECK
> > > > > ON
> > > > > > > LANE 13. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad
>enough, but somebody
>at
> > > >the
> > > > > > > rear of the store apparently misunderstood the
>word "Tampax" for
> > > > > > > "Thumbtacks". In a very business-like tone, a
>voice boomed back
> > >over
> > > > > the
> > > > > > > public address system: DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU
>PUSH IN WITH
>YOUR
> > > > > THUMB
> > > > > > > OR THE
> > > > > > > KIND YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?"
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > AND THE WINNER IS!
> > > > > > > This one happened at a major Australian
>University in October
>last
> > > > > > > year.In a biology lecture, a professor was
>discussing the high
> > > >glucose
> > > > > > > levels found in semen. A young female freshie,
>raised her hand
>and
> > > > > > > asked, "If I understand what you are saying,
>there is a lot of
> > > >glucose
> > > > > > > in male semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct."
>responded the
> > > > > professor,
> > > > > > > going on to add some statistical data. Raising
>her hand again,
>the
> > > > > girl
> > > > > > > asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After
>a stunned
>silence,
> > > >the
> > > > > > > whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl
>turned bright red
> > >and
> > > >as
> > > > > > > sherealised exactly what she had inadvertently
>said (or rather
> > > > > implied),
> > > > > > > she picked up her books, and without a word
>walked out of the
> > >class,
> > > > > and
> > > > > > > never returned. However, as she was going out of
>the door, the
> > > > > > > professor's reply was a classic. Totally
>straight-faced, he
> > >answered
> > > > > her
> > > > > > > question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the
>taste-buds for
> > > >sweetness
> > > > > > > are on the tip of your tongue and not in the
>back of your
>throat!"
Crash