Subject: Types of Sex
Social Security Sex
Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live
on!"
LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,
doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear
splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see
whatthe problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when
you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and
torn from his body.
His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his
manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was
considered cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium,
$14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large,
but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any
decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room, and fod the man looking
dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" sked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
Social Security Sex
Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live
on!"
LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,
doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear
splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see
whatthe problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when
you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and
torn from his body.
His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his
manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was
considered cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium,
$14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large,
but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any
decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room, and fod the man looking
dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" sked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
