PC-GUY
1
Number 1 idiot of 2004
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiot of 2004
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a
float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming
towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't
get it wet; the paint might run.
Here's your sign
Number Three Idiot of 2004
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to
give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
him write the note and might call the police before he reached the
teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his
note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written
on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to
fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was
arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank
of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
Number Five Idiot of 2004
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash
in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you
are over 21". The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave
the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They
arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
Idiot Number Six of 2004
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody moves!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't need a sign; he probably figured it out himself.
Idiot Number Seven of 2004
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
Idiot Number Eight of 2004
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a
gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Sign please.
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiot of 2004
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a
float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming
towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't
get it wet; the paint might run.
Here's your sign
Number Three Idiot of 2004
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to
give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
him write the note and might call the police before he reached the
teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his
note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written
on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to
fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was
arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank
of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
Number Five Idiot of 2004
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash
in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you
are over 21". The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave
the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They
arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
Idiot Number Six of 2004
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody moves!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't need a sign; he probably figured it out himself.
Idiot Number Seven of 2004
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
Idiot Number Eight of 2004
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a
gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Sign please.
