Glasgow Banter

Q. If you see a Glaswegian on a bicycle,why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It's probably your bicycle

Q. What do you call a Glaswegian in a suit?
A. The accused

Q. Why does the River Clyde run through Glasgow?
A. Because if it walked it would be mugged

Q. What do you call a Glaswegian in a three-bedroom semi?
A. A burglar

Q. Why wasn't Jesus born in Glasgow?
A. Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin

Q. What do you say to a Glaswegian in a uniform?
A. Big Mac & Fries, please

Q. What's the first question at a Glasgow pub quiz?
A. What are you looking at?
 
Top