Bandaids
A man staggered home late after another evening with his drinking buddies.
Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as
quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom,
but misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung
around and he landed heavily on his rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and
made the landing especially painful.
Managing to suppress a yelp, the man sprung up, pulled down
his pants, and examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks
in the mirror of a nearby darkened hallway.
He then managed to find a large full box of
Band-Aids and proceeded to place a patch as best he could on each
place he saw blood.
After hiding the now almost empty box, he managed to shuffle
and stumble his way to bed.
In the morning, the man awoke with searing pain
in head and butt and his wife staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night."
Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at her
and replied,
"Now, hon, why would you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," she said, "it could be the open front door, it could
be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs,
it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house,
it could be your bloodshot eyes,
But, mostly....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror
A man staggered home late after another evening with his drinking buddies.
Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as
quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom,
but misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung
around and he landed heavily on his rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and
made the landing especially painful.
Managing to suppress a yelp, the man sprung up, pulled down
his pants, and examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks
in the mirror of a nearby darkened hallway.
He then managed to find a large full box of
Band-Aids and proceeded to place a patch as best he could on each
place he saw blood.
After hiding the now almost empty box, he managed to shuffle
and stumble his way to bed.
In the morning, the man awoke with searing pain
in head and butt and his wife staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night."
Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at her
and replied,
"Now, hon, why would you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," she said, "it could be the open front door, it could
be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs,
it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house,
it could be your bloodshot eyes,
But, mostly....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror
