enjoy
The bloke who cheated on who wants to be a millionaire has killed himself. ITV have said they will pay for the funeral but not the COFFIN........
There was a great loss recently in the entertainment world. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote the "Hokey Cokey", died last week aged 83. The most traumatic part for the family was getting him in the casket. They put hisleft leg in and things started to go downhill from there.
It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news. Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.....
"Clubbers in Yorkshire have taken to using dental syringes to inject Ecstasy directly into their mouths.
This dangerous practice is known as "E by gum" and should be reported immediately."
Sky News
Sky have just won the rights to screen the World Origami Championships exclusively live from Tokyo.
Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View.
It was going to be available on On-Digital, but that folded
News from the North
Overnight, a large city in Yorkshire vanished without a trace.
Police are looking for Leeds.
The Grand National is to be re-run following a lengthy steward's enquiry. It can be revealed that no less than 10 horses pulled up at the Canal Turn, not as originally appeared because of the harsh conditions but because of the intervention of animal rights protestors. The protestors hurled a variety of missiles at the jockeys including tinned meat, pate, smoked salmon, foie gras & a full bottle of champagne. The course steward has ruled that the runners & riders involved were severely Hampered.
Also in the news:
A vampire had a lucky escape today while wandering the streets of his local town. Sandwiches appeared to be thrown from behind many buildings, pork pies, crisps, Vol au vents and cheesy wotsits followed. The vampire ducked and dived, before making his escape down a darkened alleyway. It is believed that this may have been the work of Buffet the Vampire slayer!
john
The bloke who cheated on who wants to be a millionaire has killed himself. ITV have said they will pay for the funeral but not the COFFIN........
There was a great loss recently in the entertainment world. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote the "Hokey Cokey", died last week aged 83. The most traumatic part for the family was getting him in the casket. They put hisleft leg in and things started to go downhill from there.
It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news. Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.....
"Clubbers in Yorkshire have taken to using dental syringes to inject Ecstasy directly into their mouths.
This dangerous practice is known as "E by gum" and should be reported immediately."
Sky News
Sky have just won the rights to screen the World Origami Championships exclusively live from Tokyo.
Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View.
It was going to be available on On-Digital, but that folded
News from the North
Overnight, a large city in Yorkshire vanished without a trace.
Police are looking for Leeds.
The Grand National is to be re-run following a lengthy steward's enquiry. It can be revealed that no less than 10 horses pulled up at the Canal Turn, not as originally appeared because of the harsh conditions but because of the intervention of animal rights protestors. The protestors hurled a variety of missiles at the jockeys including tinned meat, pate, smoked salmon, foie gras & a full bottle of champagne. The course steward has ruled that the runners & riders involved were severely Hampered.
Also in the news:
A vampire had a lucky escape today while wandering the streets of his local town. Sandwiches appeared to be thrown from behind many buildings, pork pies, crisps, Vol au vents and cheesy wotsits followed. The vampire ducked and dived, before making his escape down a darkened alleyway. It is believed that this may have been the work of Buffet the Vampire slayer!
john
