PC-GUY
1
*Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
values.*
*Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"*
*Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"*
*************************************************************
*A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my *
*intelligence come from?"*
*The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your
mother, cause *
*I still have mine"*
*************************************************************
*A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't
like the looks of your wife at all,"*
*"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and
really good with the kids."*
*************************************************************
*An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he
has been living with for the last 40 years.*
*The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words
that were used to put the curse on you.*
*The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."*
*************************************************************
*Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder*
*1. All the DNA is the same.*
*2. There are no dental records.*
*************************************************************
*Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.*
*"How was he killed?" asked one detective.*
*"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.*
*"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"*
*"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."*
*************************************************************
*This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde
wearing *
*the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the
best of *
*him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"*
*The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by
buying me a drink."*
*************************************************************
*Moe and Joe were talking one day*
*Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."*
*Joe: "Really?"*
*Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."*
*************************************************************
*While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a
display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty
pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought
my husband's advice. "*
*What do you think?" I asked.*
*"Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"*
*"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."*
*************************************************************
*Always the best for last:-*
*Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the
horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He
said, "I did that by accident."*
*She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."*
*He replied, "How did you know?"*
*She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole" afterwards."*
values.*
*Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"*
*Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"*
*************************************************************
*A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my *
*intelligence come from?"*
*The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your
mother, cause *
*I still have mine"*
*************************************************************
*A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't
like the looks of your wife at all,"*
*"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and
really good with the kids."*
*************************************************************
*An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he
has been living with for the last 40 years.*
*The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words
that were used to put the curse on you.*
*The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."*
*************************************************************
*Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder*
*1. All the DNA is the same.*
*2. There are no dental records.*
*************************************************************
*Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.*
*"How was he killed?" asked one detective.*
*"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.*
*"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"*
*"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."*
*************************************************************
*This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde
wearing *
*the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the
best of *
*him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"*
*The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by
buying me a drink."*
*************************************************************
*Moe and Joe were talking one day*
*Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."*
*Joe: "Really?"*
*Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."*
*************************************************************
*While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a
display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty
pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought
my husband's advice. "*
*What do you think?" I asked.*
*"Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"*
*"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."*
*************************************************************
*Always the best for last:-*
*Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the
horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He
said, "I did that by accident."*
*She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."*
*He replied, "How did you know?"*
*She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole" afterwards."*