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These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and Housing associations throughout the UK: 1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in...

A Scotsman an Englishman a cute blonde and a fat chick are all sitting in a train carriage. The train goes through a tunnel and everything is pitch black. Suddenly there is the sound of an almighty slap. Out of the tunnel everyone can see a red handprint on the Englishman’s face. The Englishman...