Search results

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher...

A blonde woman gets pulled over for doing 85 in a 25 mph zone. The cop asks her for her license and registration. She says, "License, what's that?" He replies, "It's what they ask for when you buy liquor." She says, "Oh, I get it," and hands him her license. Then she asks what a registration is...

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say 10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun? 8. I noticed that all your friends have a...

The priest in a small village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out behind the parish manse. He had a **** rooster and about ten hens. Well, one Saturday night, the **** rooster was missing, and because the priest had heard that **** fights occurred in the village, he...

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of...

Click the pic for the quote to change http://www.ushistory.org/franklin/quotable/quote15.htm

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore...

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to...

An (east) Indian hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they...

Edited reason:- sorry streetwise but this one has to go its not within the forum ruling sorry mate yes i like a good joke but subjects as this cannot stay due to the problems it causes :( >>>VIPER_1069 <<<< :) please read the forum rules here thanks >...

Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someonewith cash. Between 31 and 35, she is like India. Very hot, relaxed and convinced...

Http://home.planet.nl/~mnoorani/new_year.html

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk...

TELEGRAM #1 A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as : "Daddy, your daughter has been successful in BED ----------------------------------------------------- TELEGRAM #2 A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a...

http://medieteknik.bth.se/mt00jcl/madsanta/

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "where's Mom and dad? " and she replied, "they're up in bed, so the little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's Mom and dad?" and...

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman...

Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again are thunder and lightning. Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Commandment 3. Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand! Commandment 4. Married...

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN...

What is the quality of RMVB files like?