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Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up, doctor, fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an...

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly...

Three Old men were sitting around and talking. The 80-Year old said," The Best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. I stand there for 20 minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again." The 85 -year old said," The Best thing that could...

Why Older Chicks Rule - by Andy Rooney from CBS "60 Minutes". As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are Just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a...

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny. ''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.'' The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little...

A boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his Zipper was down, and his fly wide open. His secretary walked up to him and said, "Boss this morning When you left your house, did you close your garage door?" This was not a phrase that her boss understood, so he went into his...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That...

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to water park...

A husband and wife go to a counsellor after 15 years of marriage. The counsellor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counsellor gets up, goes around...

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A husband and wife were sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" "Definitely not!" her husband replies. "Why not? Don't you like being married?" "Of course I do," says the husband. "Then why wouldn't you...

Woman Whistles Through Her Toes Thursday, February 9, 2006 9:22 PM EST The Associated Press NEW YORK (AP) — One Oklahoma woman might get cold feet if she comes to New York and tries to hail a cab. But Betty Bell will have to do just that if she's going to whistle. Bell has the unique ability...

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WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME! The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the...

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Bill's friend Harry was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat". The next morning his wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a...

Haven't heard from Janie for a couple of days. Is that normal?