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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a scotch. The amazed bartender gives him the scotch. The horse drinks it, and leaves. The bartender calls his friend, a circus manager, and tells him about the horse. The next day the horse comes in the bar, and orders a beer. The circus...

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene...

Notes from a well meaning husband. Monday A. M. My Dearest: Please sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: finger-sandwiches and fruit cup. Thermos of hot tea by bedside. See you around 6:00...

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage the United States has ever known. Enjoy the following: 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. There are 2 theories to arguing...

Missing Bill Clinton Just watched a show on Canadian TV. There was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton. "Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President. Number 1- He played the sax. Number 2- He smoked weed...

These are real notes written from PARENTS in a Mississippi school district. (Spellings have been left intact.) ----- My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. ----- Please excuse Lisa for being absent She was sick and I had her shot. ----- Dear School...

1) Go to www.Google.com. 2) Type in (but don't hit enter): "weapons of mass destruction". 3) Hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button instead of the normal "Google search" button. 4) READ CAREFULLY what appears to be a normal ERROR message. Make sure you read the whole error message. Someone at...

THE REDHEAD A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He...

20) The cucumber has left the salad. 19) I can see the gun of Navarone. 18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 17) You've got Windows in your laptop. 16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave. 15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now. 14)...

In keeping with the informative nature of this site, I have decided to go informational. Once a snake, always a snake. BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) - A man who was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for spending the longest time with snakes has died after being bitten by one of his 30...

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder 1. All the DNA is the same. 2. There are no dental records. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`` A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The...

To all my friends, thanks to you sending me chain letters in 2003: I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it’s good for removing toilet stains. I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using...

Two elderly women were in a beauty parlour getting their hair done, when in walks a young chick with a low cut blouse that revealed a rose tattooed on one boob. One lady leaned over to the other and said, "She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll be wearing a long stemmed rose in a hanging...

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling...

Computer Virus Spreads to Human By Justin Jest, Betterhumans Staff 4/1/2004 A software developer from Houston, Texas has become the first human to contract a computer virus, microbiologists have confirmed. John Newman, an employee of vTouch Systems, came into contact with the virus through...

For anyone who has visited my web-page, you know that I have been searching for information on my brother. Yesterday, a man named Ed L., who was in Army basic training with him sent me pictures. He looks so young! :D

Don't ever confuse me with a domestic goddess or Martha Stewart type. Besides the fact that I don't like prison togs, after yesterday I will probably have to consider sex change surgery. :eek: I am still repeating my Mantra..."I hate manwork, I hate man work, I HATE man work!" I was doing...

For all you guys looking for a manly way to be domestic! ;) CLICK HERE

I have a fouton in the office. I was going to throw it out, but there's got to be something you can do with them. I'm thinking of hauling it into part of the livingroom, and then trying to figure out something to make it not look so "Fouton-y". All this hauling goes against doctors orders, so it...

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I...