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1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig." 2. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be." 4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure...

In Jerusalem, an American female journalist heard about an old rabbi who visited the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. In an effort to check out the story, she goes to the holy site and there he is! She watches the bearded old man at prayer--and after about 45...

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, 'My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a...

Timmy was a little five year old boy whose Mom loved him very much, and being a worrier, she was concerned about him walking to school when he started Kindergarten. She walked him to school the first couple of days, and at the end of the week, he came home from school and told his mother that he...

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the...

I found this old article, and I'm sure it's still valid today. So all you men out there, take note. Men Who Use Computers Are The New Sex Symbols Of The `90s by Scott Adams (scottadams @aol.com) I get about 100 e-mail messages a day from readers of my comic strip "Dilbert." Most are from...

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were...

http://www.toilette-humor.com/cartoon.html :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

What would you do if you were the girl? What would you do if you were the guy? Bonnie and Clyde been in a commited relationship for awhile. Bonnie finds out Clyde has been e-mailing an old high school friend, Debbie. Clyde never mentioned to Debbie that he was in a relationship with Bonnie...

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets filled with golf balls, and sits down next to a beautiful blonde. Puzzled- the blonde kept looking at him, and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued...

The ultimate response to a Dear John letter... You gotta love a man like this!!!! Humor in the face of defeat. A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been...

Scanning Electron Microscope http://www.mos.org/sln/SEM/ Is there such a thing as too close for comfort? Judge for yerself after you've taken a unique microscopic look at the barbed mouth parts of a deer tick or the scruffy hairs atop a mosquito's head photographed at several hundred times...

Good morning to all. ;) Coffee's flowing, and I wish it was capuccino! I was thinking of the rapidly approaching summer-time. Actually, spring is more comfortable in this part of the country. (Unless of course you really like high temps and sweating a lot.) I really like to sit outside on the...

1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the...

I remember a lot of things from when I was young **sigh** that have disappeared through the years. Like the ice man, who used to chip off pieces of ice for me. But I don't remember having an ice box. A car with a crank on the front. It was owned by someone a few houses down. Hiding under the...

This is the story of a different kind. No melting CPU's, no screaming disc drives, just the kind of psychological torture that scars a man for life. I had a 9:00 meeting with my sales rep. I needed to buy an entire new series 70, the works. He said it'd take about an hour. Three hours later...

A tourist walks into a pet shop in Redmond, WA and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please". The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a...

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing the car. They said "Heavens no, we bought it." He said, "Then why don't you drive it...

11. Instead of flying appliances, your screen saver shows horned demons torturing your immediate family. 10. The monitor spins and spews pea soup when you access the Vatican website. 9. Bill Gates Screen Saver eyes follow your every move. 8. Keeps throwing priests out of Windows. 7. Hard...