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1. Do you have a sledgehammer or brick handy? 2. ... that's right, not even MacGyver could fix it. 3. So -- what are you wearing? 4. Bummer Duuuuuuuude. 5. Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n. 6. Press 1 for Support, Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes, Press 3 if...

Is there some known issue with ME freezing, all the time, and also taking forever to open things? Two different puters, one laptop, one not. Two different sources of the OS. One same problem. Can I get it running better, or do I need to find a big blanket for the freeze out? Janie ;)

It's a great sunny morning, so instead of going outdoors, I sit on this machine. But, I did open the blinds and made a sacrifice of several small animals to the sun gods. Some of them being hamsters. Did some major changes with the computer. Hooked up an HP laptop to the monitor and keyboard. I...

The party of the first part (herein referred to as she) being of sound mind and fairly good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as him) FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship colloquially referred to as the first date or...

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you. ---------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will Probably...

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a ttoal mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid...

Hey all. I spent the day yesterday fighting with the Ewe Ess government. I had 'em good. Bit into that Uncle Sam ankle and shook my head for all it was worth. I growled and grabbed on tight when they tried to shake me off. I ended up in the corner in a heap, howling like a little kid, but what...

After having their 11th child, an Arkansas couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor/veterinarian and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a...

Doug Clark, the associate editor for our Highpoint Enterprise Newspaper wrote a great article in our paper. With humor he shows the seriousness of giving marriage licenses to Gay couples. Here is the article. ( A scene at City Hall in San Francisco ) "Next." "Good morning. We want to...

It's a beautiful day, the sun isn't even up yet. Here I am sitting at the keyboard with my favorite guys. THAT'S YOU, the cats are outside. Going to attempt another sunburn at the golf course today. In case anyone wondered, I don't golf. I ride around in the cart, playing with the cell phone and...

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING CHART SYMPTOM:Feet cold and wet. FAULT:Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION:Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM:Feet warm and wet. FAULT:Improper bladder control. ACTION:Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training...

A man walked up to a farm house and knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, though, the man knocked, and asked the same question. Not amused, the woman screamed at him and told him to leave. Later that...

My computer is all Kaflooie and puting on XP seems to be only one of the problems. The drive from my old computer was added to this one. It is now drive D. Drive c has only 255 mb of free space left on it, and drive d has 23.2 GB free. I have moved everything that I can get to move over to d. I...

This takes about 12 minutes to watch and is worth every second of it. http://www.spacewander.com/USA/english.html

What happens to Curmudgeons when they get older ? .....They turn into "Old coots" and "Geezers" By Howard Chandler Most people don’t know the difference between an "Old Coot" and a "Geezer." Even though they might look very similar they certainly act very differently from each other...

:eek: New Study Jolts White House The Bush White House's plan to push for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriages suffered a surprising setback today as a new study revealed that well over seventy percent of existing marriages may already be gay. The study, conducted by Dr. Charles...

I guess there's an internet solution for everything!! ;)

Advice For Women About Men... 1. Don't imagine you can change a man unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon -- they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man's mind wander -- it's too...

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! Dear Mr. Baker, As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an...

I've been using Spybot Search and Destroy for over a year now and it sure cleans up a lot of room when it removes all the spyware. You have to remember to delete the back-up files eventually though. http://www.safer-networking.org/index.php?page=download