Search results

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH 1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS. 2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND. 3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY...

Most cartoon characters remain frozen in time. Though they've been around for more than 50 years, the members of the Peanuts gang are in some unspecified elementary school holding pattern. But what if they had been allowed to age like the rest of us? With apologies to the late Charles Schulz...

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it. They are: a. Apple b. Banana c. Strawberry d. Peach e. Orange Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush Into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot...

This is the 5 day projection for Hurricane Rita. I live where the yellow dot is. Local news says we'll be getting high winds, up to 10" of rain, flooding of creeks and rivers and tornado possibilities on Sunday.

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to...

I almost missed it, but TODAY is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, the day on which the whole world joins together to talk like a pirate for a very positive and important reason that at the moment slips my mind. If you need to brush up on your pirate talk, you can go here and run your mouse...

Trans-Siberian Orchestra was formed in 1996 by Paul O'Neill who immediately approached long time friends and collaborators Robert Kinkel and Jon Oliva to form the core of the writing team. While producing and writing for a number of years with various rock groups Paul was always looking for...

Canadians celebrate the life of Terry Fox Last Updated Sat, 17 Sep 2005 09:41:08 EDT CBC News Twenty-five years after Terry Fox had to stop his cross-country run, Canadians celebrated his life and goals this weekend. Many call Fox their true hero. An undated photo of Terry Fox during his run...

Help my friend, Chris..."Pickerfromhell" His Band, the 52nd Regimental String band is up for three awards in the Southern Heritage Music Awards 2005. Vintage Album of the Year Instrumentalist of the Year Group of the Year You can go to the website and vote once a day until the end of...

There is a spider in my bathroom, one of those jumping spiders. Yesterday he was hanging out where I could see him and that was OK. Today he is hiding somewhere. Everything I touch in there is giving me the willies. I am afraid he will jump out onto me. A couple of weeks ago one jumped and...

The ORIGINAL Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS ACME is a worldwide leader of many manufactured goods. From its humble beginnings providing corks and flypaper to bug collectors ("Buddy's Bug Hunt/1935") to its heyday in the American Southwest supplying a certain coyote...

I'm watching the hurricane move into Louisianna, Missippi and Alabama. Parts of LA are uner 4 feet of water with winds up to 120 mph. Most of the people evacuated. A large number of them have come to this area of the country, where everything should skirt around us.

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, " Is my time up"? God said, "No. You have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the...

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to...

A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender's face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I...

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a...

The man was in a hurry to board the airplane and didn't have time to do the paperwork to get his little doggie on board. So the man stashed the puppy down the front of his pants and snuck him on to the plane. About 30 minutes into the flight, a stewardess noticed that the man was squirming in...

We've all heard the whining by mistreated women, so i thought I'd give the nice guy some fair time. Ode to the Nice Guys This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that...