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If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my fiftieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health...

The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey...

My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face. He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place. "Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright? It's all about the laws today, The Children's Bill of Rights.' It says I need not clean my room, don't have...

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons...

Important Info for females Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke) This is important information for females of ALL ages. Guys - please forward to the female members of your family and all your female friends and associates. When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. I...

Keep this in mind when you have something to return and the store gives you a hard way to go! It should be fun. A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a...

You are invited to a special Pampered Chef party!! WHERE: MY HOUSE CAN YOU COME? I know how busy you all are and that you probably hate being invited to any home parties, but I assure you this is no ordinary home party. And to be honest, I haven't had a party like this in ages, and I need...

We Stood For Freedom Roger J. Robicheau Written by a veteran about veterans. It also draws parallels to our brave serving today. American troops never change in so many ways... We stood for freedom just like you And loved the flag you cherish too Our uniforms felt great to wear You know the...

Happy Birthday United States Marine Corp.

"In one of the most startling events lightning strikes killed 68 dairy cows on a farm about 10 kilometres west of Dorrigo, inland from Coffs Harbour. The cows were clustered together in a paddock about to be milked when they were struck by lightning during a violent electrical storm on Monday...

Two Doctors . One night, a man and a woman are at a bar downing a few beers. They strike up a conversation and quickly discover that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey, how about we sleep together tonight? No strings attached. It'll just be one night...

A favor to ask, it only takes a minute.... Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a...

Australian shoots woman, not cow When Rudolf Stadler offered to help his friend get rid of a troublesome cow, he could have had no idea of the consequences. Mr Stadler, from Mooloolaba on Queensland's coast, tried to shoot the cow but missed, shooting passing motorist Carrie Tunning instead...

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she sees him she starts crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this sombre moment. Through her tears she...

Breathalyser Test Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. "Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had...

The late Ronnie Barker - Genius This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds...

Aunty Sharon A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Karl said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying chooks. One...

HindustanTimes.com Breast implants may soon carry MP3 players! Asian News International London, October 14, 2005 Music may one day be very close to a woman's chest, with BT futurology which manufactures computer chips that store music, creating a MP3 player that can be implanted into a...